How is it that the wounded are sometimes the very best at healing others…even when we’re at our very lowest? How is it that even when we have tears streaming down our face and bellows of sorrow escaping from our hearts, we can bring light and love into this world?
I found myself asking this of the universe sometime years back and am quite grateful for this wonderful fact. It gives me hope and light and a huge abundance of gratitude for the universal creator that is both outside and inside of every single one of us.
Here’s how the musing started.
One Monday I layed in my bed for FOURTEEN hours straight. My vision of the world literally was twisting, shaking and turning on me. My body was rebelling with pain to the bones and reality and illusion were strictly one as my spine decided to start shifting itself into place. It had been a long while since such widespread pain had been running through my body. The level of fear and uncertainty regarding my stability and situation was immense. I knew I needed to help myself. So I began my mantra and breath work to bring some clarity to the very unclear situation.
This too shall pass.
Om gam ganapatayai namah.
I welcome the changes that my body, mind and spirit face so that I may progress, grow and fulfill my potential and impact on the community and self.
Upon showering off the initial layer of heaviness that lay on my spirit, I perched on the side of my bed and began to cry. I began to shake with the sobs. I began to let go.
It was pure and it was free. The sobs slowly shifted my psyche from terror to a sense of oneness, peace and purity. The tears purged my soul of every self-doubt in my being. I found myself laughing through my tears, realizing the choices I had – to stay in bed and wallow in the pain or to pick myself off of my bed and try to get moving with the movement I was already perceiving and experiencing. I chose the latter. Deep breaths helped me through and I continued my affirmations and mantras.
A friend swung by, gave me a huge hug and stayed to chat for a few. She left. She then sent me the message that sparked this musing. It read as follows:
“Hey Lady. Just wanted you to know that I wasn’t feeling too great all day, but hanging with you gave me a new high. Thank you.”
My spirit brightened immediately. I remembered the truth we all have in our hearts, no matter how deeply buried. We cannot control anything other than ourselves. We can only shift and flow with our surroundings, friends, family and lovers and we must strive to see situations as they are and make the most of our current circumstances.
The darkness gives meaning to the light.
It makes me thinks of catastrophic events across the world and the amount of light, love and gratitude (yes, gratitude) as well as healing that comes from them. Think Chernobyl. Think the Hiroshima. Think the Holocaust. The amount of agony, torture, suffering, pain, fear and deep driving sorrow that these events caused for those directly and indirectly involved, directly or indirectly touched and those that later became aware are beyond words and really can only be felt...but what did these things DO for the world, for us? They were lessons, hard learned. They brought about a sense of community to heal. They brought awareness. The fears around them brought preparedness for the future. They rerouted our previous thought and action patterns, in yoga we may think of these as samskaras, and they brought about world-wide efforts of cooperation and understanding effectively breaking down certain barriers.
I urge us all to remember these things in the trials we are given. How can you make the very most of your situation? How can we positively impact others, even when we’re in the darkest of places?
May the darkness bring meaning to the light. May we remember our darkness is truly the shadow to the great light and experiences that can and will come to us should we choose to move away from the paralytic sense of fear the darkness sometimes carries.